Sorry

 I haven't written any updates in a while. Guess its about time now... I'm still alive, for now, so, yeah.

Not quite sure what to write about. But, I guess I'll start with the fact that I'm now being checked for ME/ CFS. Or, chronic fatigue syndrome for those who don't know. My doctor said she's already convinced that I have it, but for formal reasons, I have to answer forms and get my iron levels back on normal etc to get the official diagnosis.

My mood has been... Swingy as usual. I also got payed back quite a bit on my insurance from the time I spent in hospital. So, that's how I managed to get the e-bike I've been wanting to buy for so long now finally. I didn't think I'd be able to get it before next spring, but positively surprised.

I haven't used it too much yet, due to bad weather and my general well being. But I did use it on my way last time to my doctor. And 2 biking trips, on better days or evenings rather.

It was in the nick of time cuz my mom's car is totally trashed now. And, e-bike is a lot more manageable for me than a normal bike would be.

Even with good news, I still feel tired of everything. Constantly. I'm just so depressed or empty all the time. Even my mom wants to talk to my doc now to push on me trying ECT. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

4th of May 2022

 Hello! Apparently I have completely forgotten about this "blog" of mine. Im struggling to remember as i see it also. I just found it in my book marks. Seems like I've posted dark shit here indeed. I have had 14 ect's now, and that might have had a role with my memory. That aside, I'm doing fairly good now actually. I have bought my own appartement, and my cat have moved back in with me.  I guess the biggest "event" forward is a surgery I'll be having to remove a tumor on the 19th this month. Wish me luck. (Its non cancerous so dw, ill be fine) Other than that, I dont really know what else to write about at this moment, maybe I'll be back sometime. Idk if anyone read my 'blog'? or not, but I guess, if anyone did, and was wondering, I'll let you know, I'm doing fine now :3
Read more

Forgot about the blog again lol + updates around surgery and stuff

Welp. I should really start journaling more again, it's really therapeutic. I used to journal a LOT irl in like, books and stuff but, its easier digitally. And quite frankly, somehow it doesn't feel as lonely just the thought of strangers reading about my thoughts, feelings and experiences lol. I finally had my surgery a couple of weeks ago, which I'm not sure if I even mentioned in my previous post. But long story short, I have.. many health problems, mentally and physically, including pretty severe endometriosis. So I just has surgery, and removed a loooooot of sick tissue, parts of my intestines, the tumor thing and my appendix which was infested with endo tissue. My uterus has also grown stuck to another part of my intestines, so we'll consider another surgery in about 6 months, to remove my uterus, which will make me completely sterile, if I'm not already.  But that's fine with me tbh, I dont want kids, never wanted kids, I dont have health or economy to ca
Read more

Tired

I don't even know where to start, or what to write about. I've just been so tired lately. Haven't had much energy or motivation to do anything. Felt kind of lonely as well, I don't know what to do with my time, and my life. My posts are getting repetitive, guess they have been for a while. Guess my whole IRL diary is repetitive. But, I also suppose, my life is just the same day on repeat. I don't even remember what day it was now, I'm having such a hard time distinguish time. It was probably last weekend or early last week? Monday maybe? I honestly don't even remember. May even be Sunday for what I know. Anyways, I had another bad self harm incident. And, they have also contacted the acute home treatment team now, who checks in on me daily. They work in the same place as the hospital that I stayed at for almost a half year, just another section I suppose, so sadly not the same people who work there. Anyways, they have direct connection to the hospital so if
Read more