Know I shouldn't restrict but...

It feels so great. And I just want to lose the weight that I've gained... I don't want to binge and purge all the time, but today I've only restricted, and in a way, it feels nice. The feeling of being hungry is kind of numbing, its addictive, its nice. Maybe if I can just try to stick to this and now go over board on binge and purge and bulimia crap, maybe I can lose some weight again without exhausting myself and destroying my teeth and esophagus? Idk, one part of me says its a bad idea, because I don't wanna relapse. But, honestly, idek. If its me or my ed voice speaking, but restrictive ed is so much better than bulimia out of control. Its less exhausting to be able to just restrict/ not eat, than purge all day, then again, it craves much more dedication.

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